So very thankful!!

Today was the ultrasound! Look at that precious little life!!! I’m so proud!!

All the sudden my “health journal” has become something totally different than originally planned! Obviously my health “odometer” has gone UP! 

This is proof that your “will” on life completely relies on your positive or even negative mentality! You can literally will yourself healthy or sick! Yes, there are many many diseases, cancers, auto-immunity’s – so on and so forth… but choosing to be happy makes such a huge difference!!!

Yes I am experiencing pain today and while I’m writing this I’ve become very tired. However, my happiness over-exceeds all others. 

Mind: happy

Body: fatigue, pain(some stabbing, and lower back pain)

Spirit: determined, positive

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Here we go

Today I’m catching up on three days worth. Friday, Saturday and today, Sunday. 

Friday – honestly, I don’t even remember? It’s somewhat of a blur up till about 5:00pm. No, not caused by anything health wise. It’s because I got some beautiful news! I’m going to be a grandmother! Me! I can’t believe it? Putting it lightly, I’ve been on cloud nine since I received such wonderful news. 

Saturday, I got up, made breakfast then got ready and went shopping. I found some great deals. Then I came home and continued my shopping online. That’s where I found some adorable baby goodies. A giant elephant, a floppy bunny and an adorable little Harry Potter reference onesie with leggies and a little hat. I think they will love it!

Today, Sunday, I awoke from a not so good nights sleep. My back is hurting, more than normal. The top left side. It hurts when I take a deep breath. I almost feel it all the way to the front. Bummer. I’ve also felt significantly more than normal, the feeling of hot water down my left leg, about knee left side down. So strange?

It’s hard sometimes, when you know there are those who really truly don’t understand what your going through nor do they fully believe you. Especially if you try to look your best. On the other hand, if you looked the way your truly feeling most days, then you have the accusations of wanting sympathy and attention. I can’t blame them, because I used to be that person, too. So I hold no grudge whatsoever…

Pain: 8/10

Body: pain, tired

Mind: positive

Spirit: flying high!!

Warmth of sun

(Thursday)

I literally can’t get enough of the warmth from the sun. I know it’s not healthy to stay in the sun for long amounts of time, but I literally can’t resist how it makes me feel. 

When I’m cold, which is most all of the time, all I want to do is curl up in a ball, in my jammies under a blanket on the couch. What kind of life is that? 😬 (Kinda my favorite thing to do) So, it’s so nice to be warmed by the sun. That’s why I so dread winter. Cold also makes me hurt. 

So tired, oh I’m so tired. What have I done today? Not much. Cooked. Made the bed. Warmed up in the sun by the pool. Now, I’m so tired. 

Body: tired, pain 6/10, 

Mind: unsure today

Spirit: positive 

Walked: 10 mins

What am I gonna do with myself? I tell Travis to just throw me in the trash and be done with me. He won’t, though. He loves me, flaws and all.

I’m seriously so tired right now so I can’t think. 

(Friday)

Today has been a really good day. 

It began with a nice coffee house visit with a new friend that lives in our neighborhood. Come to find out, she’s a photographer, and I wanted to ask about some ideas and tips she could give me to help improve my photos I share on my blog. She’s really sweet and we have quite a bit in common. I look forward to another visit real soon. 

Later, Lukas and I met Travis for lunch at Whole Foods. Then, finally, I did a little school clothes shopping for Lukas while he stayed home to mow. 

All in all it’s been a pretty good day!

I just wish these annoying pains and feelings of hot/cold water would just go away!

I’m starting to get very tired…

Mind: hopeful and positive, happy

Body: sharp pains in lower back, and hands 

Spirit: uplifted 

Neurological ???

Does house cleaning count as exercise? Yep! In my book it sure does!! I’ve spent most of the day cleaning our house. Floors, kitchen, and laundry. I’ve also made a casserole and these AMAZING London Fog shortbread cookies… amazing! 

Body: pain in lower back,as well as between shoulder blades,  some stabbing pains in hands and arms, hot water feelings

Mind: positive, happy 

Spirit: determined

So, about three weeks ago, I experienced this really strange pain in my lower back that radiated down my legs. It almost paralyzed me for a few seconds. I felt like I couldn’t control walking very well. I slowly was able to stabilize myself and not fall. It was only a few seconds but felt a lot longer. 

I experienced a little of this same pain today. It is such a strange sensation. Kinda scary to be completely honest. 

I’m tired….

Back pain

There’s nothing worse than back pain! Well, except a broken bone, or a tooth ache, or being hospitalized … okay, there’s a whole lot that’s worse than back pain! However, when you deal with back pain, it can make or break your plans for the day.

Today’s forecast calls for rain, all day, and again tomorrow. That’s a wonderful blessing when it’s summer and hot out. Flowers keep blooming, leaves and greenery stays green longer, birds are happy. It’s just a great thing. What’s not great is when you tend to suffer a little more than normal with pain when it’s rainy out. 

Sometimes the rain effects how I feel, yet other times it doesn’t. I’ve heard that it can depend on the barometric pressure. Nevertheless, it’s effecting me today. My neck is very tender and sore as well as my lower back. Cool thing is, today I’ve posted new photography of a hummingbird in my photo blog, as well as a recipe for an easy slow cooker meal in my home life blog. Check, check and check. Staying positive makes life so much easier!

I don’t feel stabbing pains all over – PTL! 

Today has become an “on the couch” for the rest of the day kinda day, though. It started out pretty good. I went to the store and got what I needed for my recipe for the blog. Created our meal for dinner. Now, I’m checked out for the rest of the day. 

Body: tired, pain 8/10, numbness and tingling (left arm), just not feeling well

Mind: accomplished

Spirit: good

*I’ve noticed a lot more stiffness today and popping in my joints

Living 

Today: Monday

-Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday all rolled into one…

Well, I guess it’s a good thing that I haven’t updated/recorded my progress the last several days? I’ve felt pretty good! Is it the Lyrica? Is it the Zoloft? Both combined?  Not sure, but either way I’m thankful! 

I’ve felt like doing more these last few days than in a long time. Still not a lot of energy, though. 

Pain level: 5/10 most days. The lower back pain probably will never go away (without a healing by God). My hands, however, have really been hurting. Gripping things and writing etc is a challenge. Not sure why it seems more prevalent? Is it because other parts of my body (pain related) are getting relief so my hands are more noticeable now? Not quite sure, but hopefully it will go away! 

My neck is still hurting, and I felt more pain in it as well. I don’t feel I have more energy because I still have the “crash” feeling or just “drained” causing me to lay down. 

My left arm still feels the same as far as pain, numbness and the “hot water” feeling is still there. 

I think the majority of my problems right now are caused by the damage and herniated disc in my back and neck, causing all the other symptoms: numbness, tingling, hot water feeling, and pain

I’ve enjoyed giving our master suite a little face lift, lately. Giving it a more “beach” look. It makes me happy! 

Thursday: watered the lawn, flowers and plants. Swept floors, washed and changed bedsheets, and cleaned kitchen. Did a clean sweep and purged several items in the bedroom as well as entry.  

Friday: posted items on Facebook and sold a few pieces. My new blue lamps arrived. Went to the grocery store. Stayed home (favorite thing to do)

Saturday: minimal yard work

Sunday: church, ran errunds, church

Monday: minimal yard work, house cleaning, going to the pool, make dinner

Today, Mind body and spirit–

Mind: positive, happy

Body: hands, lower back and neck pain 

Spirit: thankful, determined

… now that I’m winding down the end of the day, I’m taking inventory on most of my Monday. I was able to do most of my tasks. Yes my back hurt, yes my arms got so tired, and my neck hurt. Yes, I still have pains-but I’m still moving forward. That’s the right directional force to be a part of, in my opinion!

I stumbled upon this survey for those, who deal with chronic illness of some form, who have the best way to describe what “I’m tired” means to them, individually. If your like me and millions of others who deal with this and have such a hard time explaining what you truly mean when you say “I’m tired” …maybe this will help: themighty.com 

 

Beyond the Pain

Wednesday: I started the new anti-depressant (Zoloft)1 whole pill instead of half, as directed. Side effect: made me feel sick. Nausea and headache, but hopefully it’s temperary. I didn’t feel like going on my walk but I did clean the house and work on a project for a friend. So that was good!

Today, I’m attempting to finish painting my bed and hopefully setting it up in our master suite today (🤞🏻) 

Spirit: I’m on day 6 on taking the Lyrica and day two on taking the full dose of Zoloft. So far, I feel I’m headed in the right direction and I’ll start feeling less pain. I just wish it would take care of the numbness and tingling in my arms and legs etc. (perfect world)

Body: My appetite hasn’t come back completely but honestly, I’m not complaining. I could stand to lose about 20! Even 10 would be awesome!

However, at this point, if I can have no pain and slightly over weight or skinny and pain–no brainer! Of course pain free! 

I am experiencing a bit of a headache… could be partly the weather (raining)? 

Feeling tired because I had trouble falling asleep last night and I’m thinking that’s a side effect of the Zoloft? Maybe? Who knows? 

Mind: Great thing is, I’m not moaping around anymore constantly thinking on how 41 years of my life has come and gone so quickly, therefore I set and dwell on the fact that statistically I’m more than half way through with life… dwelling on how our boys are grown and we are almost empty nesters (in at least 7 years or less?)… how I want to travel the world with Travis and see as much as possible before these years of life are almost gone… and how I don’t want to wait till something bad happens before we do these things!!!! 

WHAT IN THE WORLD DEE????!!!! 

Get a grip!!!

-hence Zoloft!

I’m very hopeful that I’m headed in the right direction!!

(But I do still want to travel!😬)

Pushing on

Walked: 15 mins

Body: tired, pain in neck, hands, feet, well- all over

Mind: determined

Spirit: fighting to feel good

I’ve been waking up every morning since Saturday, hurting all over my body. So much that I don’t want to get out of bed but yet I can’t keep laying there because it hurts too much.  I have to keep in mind, it honestly could be worse. I’m thankful that I’m able to get out of bed, walk to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. I don’t ever want to take anything like that for granted. The breath I breath, my heart beating, my eyesight… I could go on and on. I’m so blessed and I thank God for it every day!

 I find it so very sad that there are people out there that really don’t want to fight. They give in to the pain, and give up on life. They would rather be dependent on something that not only numbs the pain but also the mind. It’s easy to become a “zombie” so you don’t have to deal with life or worry about mistakes you’ve made. 

I have no desire whatsoever to become “zombified”!!!

I have many many years left (until the Lord returns)… and I plan to live to the fullest!

We are created in HIS image, so we need to be mindful of that. People are always watching. We have to be the best example we possibly can be so others see Christ in us and through us!

Saturday: Cleaned the church (I mopped), with the help of several others.

Sunday: Stayed in bed till late afternoon. Church that night to hear Travis preach.


I felt good enough to organize a church cleaning day on Saturday, kinda last minute, and had a great turn out! Saturday we cleaned the fellowship hall and entry areas as well as washed windows. It’s always great fellowship time when we are all able to come together like this. I always enjoy it. However, if I participate in any way physically, I suffer later for it. Sunday morning, I wasn’t able to get out of bed in time to get ready for church, and I am still feeling the new effects/side effects of the Lyrica (started med on Saturday) which is making me very lethargic… speaking of Lyrica, my word!!!! So, my deductible still hasn’t been met for the year. I have about $500 more to go. Therefore, I had to pay out of pocket for my med. Lyrica is priced at $400, because its a name brand medicine and there isn’t a generic option. My pharmacist was gracious enough to find a coupon online to help bring the price down to $275. I’m just praying this medicine will help me feel better. So far, I’m feeling worse. I’m hoping I haven’t wasted my money on this med!

Today I was hoping to finish painting my headboard so I can get it in my room, but I just don’t have the energy. My hands still hurt pretty bad from mopping, so I think I need another day of rest. I hate these days because I want to be “doing” all the time! Oh well, I’m very thankful I’m at least able to rest. My neck has really suffered as well, so I don’t want to do anything to make it all worse…


Until tomorrow, I guess…

 

Do It Anyway

87 degrees outside, and I walked anyway! It’s probably even hotter than what the phone temp reads with the humidity and not to mention the heat bouncing off the cement… whew! Sweat pouring, but I think of it as toxins leaving my body! I want to get rid of any and all yuckies that linger in my body that isn’t supposed to be there or that is attacking my body. I’ll take the heat over the cold any day! I’m already dreading winter. I don’t know why I’m already thinking about that? Maybe because its “Christmas in July” right now on Hallmark. Ha! I love Christmas, and I can’t wait to celebrate- I just DREAD the cold!

Yesterday was a bad day, but today I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my walk, even if it wasn’t for very long!

Walked: 20 mins

Mind: positive, determined

Body: started with lots of pain all over, but I’m loosening up and not experiencing as much of the stabbing pain. Hands still stiff and painful, lower back hurts, numbness and tingling in arms, hands, feet and legs(as always), neck pain(experiencing more today than in a while)

Spirit: Happy


I stay hydrated by drinking lots of water, and a most of the time I have lemons and or limes in the water as well as a little pink Himalayan salt. It’s a healthier form of “Gatorade” without the harmful dies and sugars, and who knows what else?  Nothing taste better to me on a hot day than my special water…

Mind over body–

Its essential to keep your body in check and keep your mind positive when you have chronic pain. You have to take control of what your day will be. Some days you have to listen to your body. If it says rest, rest… if you succeed fighting through the pain and doing exactly what you want to do that day-do it! Stay positive, smile, take deep breaths, and go on a quick walk, even if its only down the drive way and back. Listen to the birds sing, let the sun shine down on your face. Make the best of the worst!


I know that sometimes its easier said than done, because I have “those days”…. just keep in mind that it can’t control your life, don’t let it!

Take your life back-one day at a time!