Beyond the Pain

Wednesday: I started the new anti-depressant (Zoloft)1 whole pill instead of half, as directed. Side effect: made me feel sick. Nausea and headache, but hopefully it’s temperary. I didn’t feel like going on my walk but I did clean the house and work on a project for a friend. So that was good!

Today, I’m attempting to finish painting my bed and hopefully setting it up in our master suite today (🤞🏻) 

Spirit: I’m on day 6 on taking the Lyrica and day two on taking the full dose of Zoloft. So far, I feel I’m headed in the right direction and I’ll start feeling less pain. I just wish it would take care of the numbness and tingling in my arms and legs etc. (perfect world)

Body: My appetite hasn’t come back completely but honestly, I’m not complaining. I could stand to lose about 20! Even 10 would be awesome!

However, at this point, if I can have no pain and slightly over weight or skinny and pain–no brainer! Of course pain free! 

I am experiencing a bit of a headache… could be partly the weather (raining)? 

Feeling tired because I had trouble falling asleep last night and I’m thinking that’s a side effect of the Zoloft? Maybe? Who knows? 

Mind: Great thing is, I’m not moaping around anymore constantly thinking on how 41 years of my life has come and gone so quickly, therefore I set and dwell on the fact that statistically I’m more than half way through with life… dwelling on how our boys are grown and we are almost empty nesters (in at least 7 years or less?)… how I want to travel the world with Travis and see as much as possible before these years of life are almost gone… and how I don’t want to wait till something bad happens before we do these things!!!! 

WHAT IN THE WORLD DEE????!!!! 

Get a grip!!!

-hence Zoloft!

I’m very hopeful that I’m headed in the right direction!!

(But I do still want to travel!😬)

Pushing on

Walked: 15 mins

Body: tired, pain in neck, hands, feet, well- all over

Mind: determined

Spirit: fighting to feel good

I’ve been waking up every morning since Saturday, hurting all over my body. So much that I don’t want to get out of bed but yet I can’t keep laying there because it hurts too much.  I have to keep in mind, it honestly could be worse. I’m thankful that I’m able to get out of bed, walk to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. I don’t ever want to take anything like that for granted. The breath I breath, my heart beating, my eyesight… I could go on and on. I’m so blessed and I thank God for it every day!

 I find it so very sad that there are people out there that really don’t want to fight. They give in to the pain, and give up on life. They would rather be dependent on something that not only numbs the pain but also the mind. It’s easy to become a “zombie” so you don’t have to deal with life or worry about mistakes you’ve made. 

I have no desire whatsoever to become “zombified”!!!

I have many many years left (until the Lord returns)… and I plan to live to the fullest!

We are created in HIS image, so we need to be mindful of that. People are always watching. We have to be the best example we possibly can be so others see Christ in us and through us!

Saturday: Cleaned the church (I mopped), with the help of several others.

Sunday: Stayed in bed till late afternoon. Church that night to hear Travis preach.


I felt good enough to organize a church cleaning day on Saturday, kinda last minute, and had a great turn out! Saturday we cleaned the fellowship hall and entry areas as well as washed windows. It’s always great fellowship time when we are all able to come together like this. I always enjoy it. However, if I participate in any way physically, I suffer later for it. Sunday morning, I wasn’t able to get out of bed in time to get ready for church, and I am still feeling the new effects/side effects of the Lyrica (started med on Saturday) which is making me very lethargic… speaking of Lyrica, my word!!!! So, my deductible still hasn’t been met for the year. I have about $500 more to go. Therefore, I had to pay out of pocket for my med. Lyrica is priced at $400, because its a name brand medicine and there isn’t a generic option. My pharmacist was gracious enough to find a coupon online to help bring the price down to $275. I’m just praying this medicine will help me feel better. So far, I’m feeling worse. I’m hoping I haven’t wasted my money on this med!

Today I was hoping to finish painting my headboard so I can get it in my room, but I just don’t have the energy. My hands still hurt pretty bad from mopping, so I think I need another day of rest. I hate these days because I want to be “doing” all the time! Oh well, I’m very thankful I’m at least able to rest. My neck has really suffered as well, so I don’t want to do anything to make it all worse…


Until tomorrow, I guess…

 

Do It Anyway

87 degrees outside, and I walked anyway! It’s probably even hotter than what the phone temp reads with the humidity and not to mention the heat bouncing off the cement… whew! Sweat pouring, but I think of it as toxins leaving my body! I want to get rid of any and all yuckies that linger in my body that isn’t supposed to be there or that is attacking my body. I’ll take the heat over the cold any day! I’m already dreading winter. I don’t know why I’m already thinking about that? Maybe because its “Christmas in July” right now on Hallmark. Ha! I love Christmas, and I can’t wait to celebrate- I just DREAD the cold!

Yesterday was a bad day, but today I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my walk, even if it wasn’t for very long!

Walked: 20 mins

Mind: positive, determined

Body: started with lots of pain all over, but I’m loosening up and not experiencing as much of the stabbing pain. Hands still stiff and painful, lower back hurts, numbness and tingling in arms, hands, feet and legs(as always), neck pain(experiencing more today than in a while)

Spirit: Happy


I stay hydrated by drinking lots of water, and a most of the time I have lemons and or limes in the water as well as a little pink Himalayan salt. It’s a healthier form of “Gatorade” without the harmful dies and sugars, and who knows what else?  Nothing taste better to me on a hot day than my special water…

Mind over body–

Its essential to keep your body in check and keep your mind positive when you have chronic pain. You have to take control of what your day will be. Some days you have to listen to your body. If it says rest, rest… if you succeed fighting through the pain and doing exactly what you want to do that day-do it! Stay positive, smile, take deep breaths, and go on a quick walk, even if its only down the drive way and back. Listen to the birds sing, let the sun shine down on your face. Make the best of the worst!


I know that sometimes its easier said than done, because I have “those days”…. just keep in mind that it can’t control your life, don’t let it!

Take your life back-one day at a time!

Two rolled up into one

Yesterday, was another pretty good day. I stayed occupied, although, I achieved a few of the many things on my list. I woke up hurting all over my body. Logan encouraged me to go on my walk, and that’s just what I did. I do feel it helps my mental health probably more than my physical as far as one being a higher benefit over the other.  I did end the day feeling extremely fatigued.

Walked: 25 minutes

Body: tired, some pain over all

Mind: Positive

Soul: uplifted


Today, so far, I’m trying so hard to do some house work. I’ve vacuumed the floors, and cobwebs, dust, etc, and I’ve found myself on the couch because I have zero energy. Its extremely hot outside, so I’m a little afraid to go on my walk for fear of overheating and something bad happening or just putting myself in bed and becoming sick. So, I will slowly do my house hold chores today.

I ended up needing to lay down for a while, and fell asleep for over an hour. I know I needed the rest, so I’m not going to beat myself up for doing so. Still, not a lot of energy today, and I’m experiencing the stabbing pains today in my back and arms. My legs feel like I’m forcing them through a tight space…. weird way to describe how they are feeling, but that’s the best I know how.

Spirit: a little low because of body aches and fatigue

Mind: fighting through the pain-exhusted but determined

Body: stabbing pains in arms, and back. very fatigued


Hopeful for a better tomorrow… Praying!

Knowing What I Know

Make sure you’re moving, staying active, exercising!

Have you heard those words yet, as a fibromyalgia victim? Me too, and I do believe there are some benefits to exercising, moving, staying “in motion”. However, when you have other areas of your body that are in pain from staying in motion, its challenging to sweep your floor let alone go on a walk and stay in any kind of motion.

Excuses….

Nope, not one bit! When you have an area in your spine that has suffered damage and causes your sciatica to flare up, and feels like someone is stabbing you in your back, I don’t consider that an excuse.

Aggravating…

It drives me nuts when my hands, and feet are numb and tingly, and nothing you do relieves it nor makes it stop. It just goes away on its own. If you aren’t familiar with what I’m talking about, its the feeling of a rubber band tied around your arm and it loses circulation as well as when you wake up with your hand or your foot “falls asleep”… its that, except it takes hours for it to ‘wake up” … drives me crazy! There are times I drop things and stumble or trip. There are times I just stop what I’m doing and set and read or watch Hallmark channel, because it’s the best. Oh, I love to watch Golden Girls and I love the movies they show. Yes, I’m a sappy individual.  Also, the area between my shoulder blades feels tight and painful most of the time. I was told that is my compensating area because of the scoliosis along with pain in my lower back and neck… so that’s fun..    Setting for long periods of time is challenging as well as standing in one place for more than a few minutes. Walking where there are lots of hills, causing me to arch my back,  makes my lower back hurt really bad!

Complainer…

I feel like I’m just constantly complaining when someone asks me, “how are you feeling today?”, and some of the time I say exactly what I’m dealing with in that moment or that day, and times that I say, “I’m good”. You know, that answer we all give when we really don’t want to go into detail nor bore anyone of what is really going on, and we definitely don’t want to feel that judgmental glare of “your such a complainer”. It’s called “masking the problem”. We want life to be great, we want to pretend there isn’t anything negative going on with us, so we wear it. We want to feel normal, so we wear it. What is normal, can anyone explain that? I don’t think there is such a thing. I think we get into the mindset of what normal is, and that’s being perfect with zero problems. Well, it just doesn’t exist. There is always something that isn’t just perfect in everyone’s lives. If it were perfect, this place we live called earth would instead be called heaven. So, there ya go!

Today:

Walked: 25 mins

Mind: still feeling positive, and accomplished

Body: Numbness and tingling in hands and feet. Pain in middle of the back, left leg feels “banded off” like a rubber band is cutting off circulation. Pain in left foot where the swelling and inflammation is on the knuckle of my big toe (arthritis and calcified deposits of which Dr said I possible will end up having surgery to remove it, in my future)

Spirit: Content and happy

I’m a little disappointed that I could only walk for 25 mins today, however, its in the dead of summer and its getting very hot out. Nevertheless, I’ll continue to exercise as much as I can.. I plan to clean the house again today, and I’m hopeful that I will succeed without pain.

This evening we will take dinner over to my parents house and visit them for a few hours. I look forward to seeing them.

The end of the first

So, today I started this blog/journal journey to document my days-bad and good, concerning my physical ailments, challenges throughout the day and concerns. 

I started this day feeling really good! I’ve had energy, and the only ache I experienced most of the day was in my hands and lower back. 

Emotionally I have been a 9 out of 10 (10 being fantastic).  However,  the last month or more I’ve been pretty depressed because of the daily pain that I experience along with the changes unfolding before my eyes of my children growing up. Im not getting any younger, and I have really looked at the years that Travis and I have ahead of us. (I plan for us to have many many more years of life together).

 41 years old-that’s how old I am, and oh how that time has flown by! It’s been an avalanche of emotions, nonetheless!

Not only am I on one, but two anti-depressants. I take Gabapentin for fibro, and I’m on an anti-inflammatory for arthritis. 

Back in February, the month of LOVE, Travis and I had a heart screening.  I found out my cholesterol was extremely high. I almost fell out of my chair. I have always been very healthy (not counting the chronic pain) so it came as a shock to me. I’ve always been what I would consider an atheletic individual and fit most of my life. So, the last several years I’ve gone through a lot of emotional roller coasters. 

Lately I’ve really made up my mind to embrace what is part of my life now and turn it into a positive. I don’t want the pains that I deal with to dictate my life every single moment of every single day. I want to be healthy, and happy while not over working my body back into more pain. 

So, I will rate my day on a scale of 1-10, 10 being best day and 1 being worst day… I give it an 8. 

As I unwind here on my soft fluffy couch, I’m really feeling the day catch up with me. I’m extremely tired. So, because of that, I’ll call it a day. 

One Day At A Time

 

Reaching Past The Stars!!!!!

Day 1:

Walked : 45 minutes this morning

Mind: feeling proud, confident, empowered

Body: some pain in my hands, lower back, and that’s about it for now

Spirit: feeling lifted, happy, and on top of the mountain

Why do I feel inspired today? I have felt 100% motivated the whole day. I’m                     taking my life back!!!


A journey of what I’ve been diagnosed with:

  1. Fibromyalgia
  2. Mild arthritis
  3. Scoliosis
  4. Degenerative Joint Disease
  5. Depression
  6. Herniated disc C3/C4 as well as a resolved HD in L3/L4 with damage
  7. I take a statin to keep my cholesterol level as well as a beta blocker for my heart (mild palpitations)

I take medication for all the above, and I have been on this journey for many years now…


I recently read a few inspirational videos and images, which was hard not to scroll across, on Facebook. One of which explained how we all should share our stories and testimonials in order to help others, and visa versa. I also watched a video of a friend who talked about her journey of getting healthy and fit.

I don’t know what exactly sparked this in me today, but I’m absolutely owning it and running with it! It is time to break the chains from the struggles I have. Its time to help myself by helping others along the way…. I’m in no way a counselor in any degree, however, I consider myself an encourage’r!

Maybe there is someone out there that is needing this and needing a place to talk. I know I definitely need this as my health journal. And that is the main reason I’ve created this blog.

I have many days that are my low days. Today, is not one of those days, and I’m so thankful for that. I just have to make sure I don’t over do it on my good days ( I tend to do that a lot), and suffer later for it. Even though I have fewer good day, I push on living the best of my ability. It makes me all the more thankful for my good days, when I have them. God has been extremely good to me and has given me strength to do what needs to be done no matter what. He also allows me rest on days I need rest. He is always there no matter what, and always will be. He is my rock, and my salvation on whom I lean on. Without Him I would be so lost! I was lost, once, but Now I’m Found!! Thank you Jesus Christ for dying for me, and the whole world, not only for my salvation, but for so many other reasons…. I could talk about Him all day long!

Anywhoozle, I love to inspire, uplift, and encourage others when I can. I know its not always possible– life happens and it will impact what you do and how you feel. Plain and simple.

This is my journal blog on health and happiness… AND

TAKING MY LIFE BACK!!!